Fourth Man Down
by JustCallMeMarly
Summary: 5th season within series finale – There are no safe havens of the mind when there are but moments to live. Wesley finds this out as life slips from him…


**A/N – A tribute to Wesley (apologies for the overly melancholy tone)… thank you, Alexis Denisof, for portraying our favorite Watcher/rogue demon hunter/all around bumbling brain with such honesty through all the good, bad and the downright ugly. We will miss the series, and we will surely miss you.**

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Fourth Man Down

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

It had been hard for everyone after Cordelia died. It was still hard to think of that selfless, lively girl…_ woman_… as no longer amongst the living. She'd been the second man down in this fight against Evil – the first having been Doyle. It had been understandably harder for Angel and himself after her death, knowing her as well as they had. But rather than dwell, they'd _all_ denied the truth. They'd all pushed past their pain at having their heart so mercilessly cut from them and focused on the material. But that was done. The end of the world was approaching so quickly and Wesley didn't pretend any longer that her loss hadn't affected him. But it would be remiss to say that his world had been spun on its axis like it had for Angel. Sure, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce had loved Cordelia Chase. How could a brother not love a sister?

But his world _had_ spun on its axis. In fact, it had spun on its axis twice. And all for the same person, if you got down to the nuts and bolts of it all. Fred. _Winifred Burkle_… Now, only a shell. A grotesque masquerade with the down-home smile and the shy Texan drawl of the young woman that had so bewitched him. Fred had been the third man down in a war that had not yet truly begun.

It had been a cruel twist of fate that the two women that the two pillar members of Angel Investigations had come to depend on were taken one right after the other. As Angel had stoically grieved for Cordelia, Wesley had done the same in his staunch British way for Fred. Where Angel had his bouts of violence and scorching grief that ravaged everything inside him at private moments, so did Wesley. It was hard to deny that a part of you was missing when you were alone by yourself.

The world had spun once as he'd watched Fred love Gunn. They'd been happy, and he wasn't one to begrudge them that. Certainly not in this world that was so festered in pain and violence. So, he'd sunk to a level of despair he'd never known. He'd drawn into his books and into himself. Only now, hindsight being what it was, could he see the destructiveness of it all. He'd blamed Wolfram and Hart for their deception, he'd blamed Holtz for his cruel revenge, he'd blamed Angel for his charade. Only now would he, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, admit fully his part in the end of all these days.

Yet, despite it all, that same world spun to rights again much later as he'd shared his love and it was returned… given him reason to hope again. But it was knocked back out of sorts as that love – as _Fred_ - was ripped from him. Illyria walked this earth a disembodied soul of a god in such a beautiful corpse. Fred was gone, just as he was now going.

It was better that he was the one to fall first in this fight. He wouldn't be able to watch his friends perish in front of him. He couldn't watch any member of his family, inevitably, fall into death's clutches. It was selfish of him, he'd admit, but it was the way of things. If he'd been the last one standing he would have rushed to follow them all. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce was no champion. Saving the world was best left to Angel. He'd done his part to help the vampire. If Angel survived through it all, he would live on.

But _he_ didn't have long. Wesley could feel his last breath somewhere deep in his lungs. When faced with the inevitable, there was no flash of life in front of his darkening eyes. Instead, there were thoughts. There were moments of pride, of regret… there were moments of seclusion, of isolation, of fear and guilt… but none of it keeping him warm now.

But in the face of it all, he'd had love. He'd felt it, he'd given it, and had it returned. He'd had acceptance. He'd glowed with it, he'd reveled in it, and he'd lived in it. He'd had family. He'd been a part of it, he'd defended it, he'd… miss it…

_Tip your glass to the sky… it's the fourth man down…_

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

The End

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

**A/N – Please let me know what you think! I plan on doing a 'tribute' to Fred and Doyle as well (be patient, though!). Then, I'll have covered them all. Doyle, Cordy, Fred and Wesley… the fallen heroes of Angel Investigations…**


End file.
